Vietnam with a Toddler

“Oh cool, this hand basin is perfect for doing some hand washing”. Those words actually left my lips. I actually said that statement. Traveling around Vietnam with a toddler in tow had morphed me into “that guy”………

Traveling with a toddler changes you. It makes you see things differently. You prioritse things in a way that you didn’t before, previously irrelevant things become important and what mattered in an earlier life barely warrants a mention. And so it was that I felt compelled to announce to my wife the happy virtues of a hand basin with deep sides and a working plug when we checked into our hotel in Ho Chi Minh City. “Fantastic” she replied –  oh no, it had taken a grip on her too, there was no escaping the fact that we were parents, with an agenda so far removed from those of our previous trips to South East Asia.

As different as it is, traveling with a wee one needn’t be hard work, sorry I should re-phrase that – it most likely will be hard work, but it needn’t be impossible and it most likely will be immensely rewarding. Like all undertakings with a small child, it requires an element of planning. Whether it is  a weekend by the beach or a two month trip to South East Asia, there is a lot of think about, discuss and think about again. And that’s before you even buy the tickets.

We had planned our trip to Vietnam around Harvey’s needs, or abilities. A very important aspect of any successful trip with a toddler I believe. We had decided to move at his pace, not rushing around from town to town, giving him time to sleep and get used to somewhere. Our theory was – happy Harvey, happy us! We generally stayed somewhere for a minimum of 3 days, usually longer if there was enough to do. The one mistake we made in this area was Hanoi where we ended out staying far too long, 10 days in all. Our plan had been to break up our time there with trips to places such as Tam Coc rice paddies, but Harvey ended up getting pretty sick so we chose to stay put until he recovered. Which he did with the fine help of the wonderful staff at the Family Medical Practice.

We had also chosen to forgo certain areas and excursions for his comfort and safety – and also that of everybody else. For example we avoided Sapa due to the mosquito risk and Halong Bay due to the obvious dangers inherent with taking an 18 month old onto a boat with possibly questionable safety standards. Not to mention the 4 hour bus ride to get to said boat, unrestrained and screaming full noise, ingratiating himself and us with our fellow passengers in the finest of ways. If the effort and stress of doing something is so much that you cant relax and enjoy it, then it really isn’t worth doing. This time anyway, there can always be a next time.

We also chose to avoid long journeys by car or bus for the same reasons as above, choosing instead to fly or take the train. We flew with Vietnam Airlines and found their fares and service to be pretty good. They also have a good infant policy, allowing strollers up the gate and one extra piece of checked luggage. We did 4 flights with them all up and they were all pretty much on time. For the train, we found the air conditioned soft sleeper or soft seat options were absolutely fine. In fact they were very comfortable, the cabins and the seats were pretty roomy, the aisles in the soft seat carriages were wide and where food was offered it was generally pretty good. The only negative was the toilets, not unusual in Asia I know and it came as no surprise, but this was my first time changing a nappy in a pretty fetid, moving toilet that had already seen heavy use for a few days. Basically all trains run from north to south – HCMC to Hanoi or vice versa –  a trip that takes 4 days I think, and you just get on the section that you require. This makes for meeting some interesting people but not for very clean toilets. Anyway suffice to say that it was a fairly unpleasant and challenging experience trying to achieve the desired outcome without either party falling down and rolling around in god knows what. This was a minor point and generally our train experiences were fine, apart from dealing with an over excited toddler who refused to go to sleep that is. For train tickets we used a website called baolau.com, and useful information could be found from The Man in Seat 61.

Our plan was pretty simple really: arrive in HCMC and after a few days of adjustment fly to Hanoi. Then basically meander our way back down the coastline to HCMC where we would fly home. Sounds easy. And, well, it actually really was, well as easy as it could be anyway. I know travel should be spontaneous and exciting, drifting on the wind, going wherever the tide takes you etc etc……… All good pre nippers but nowadays a plan is paramount I believe. And like all good plans they are there to be changed. With a travel plan in place it frees up your head-space to deal with the day to day and try and enjoy your surroundings. We made a plan for most of our trip, reserving accommodation before we left NZ and booking the first leg of travel. We made sure all our accommodation was changeable at no cost and we ended out changing most of it in some way or other as we went, but mostly we stuck roughly to our plan. There is enough to think about and to do when you are here on the ground with a toddler in tow that you don’t want to be constantly thinking, “where to next?”. Believe me.

Vietnam has come a long way since it first opened up to tourism in the early 1990’s and although it still lags behind say Thailand in size and scale of the tourism industry, it is catching up fast. There are options for all budget ranges, from cheap dorm rooms to 6 star hotels: it’s the kind if place where you can spend as much or as little as you want. I don’t know how long this will last for, there seem to be a disproportionate amount of large scale, top end developments going on at the obvious expense of the little guy. Anyway for now, it’s not an expensive place to visit and in terms of value for money, it’s amazing. We elected to generally stay in what are known as mid-range hotels. These did vary a bit but were generally all very comfortable and clean with really friendly staff. Breakfasts were all provided and there were no questions over Harvey eating his fill even if he hadn’t technically been paid for. They all had air conditioning and most of them had a pool. One of them, the Moonlight Hotel in Hue, even had a children’s playroom, an absolute godsend and a true sign of the changing priorities of the traveling parent. This fantastic hotel in my opinion also had the best breakfast out of all the mid-range options we tried and was the only one to provide Vietnamese coffee on request, a major plus in my view. Generally our hotels were in the US$30-50 price range, although we did splash out now and again and treat ourselves to beach side resort living for the vast sum of US$70-100 a night! When traveling with a small child, it pays to give yourselves a bit of comfort every now and again.

Everywhere we went in Vietnam, Harvey became a star. I know it’s been said many times before and we had expected it, but even so we were quite surprised by the way everyone, and I mean everyone, loved him. If we had allowed it I’m pretty sure he could’ve been whisked off us on day 1 in HCMC, passed from adoring embrace to adoring embrace for 2 months then returned to us at the airport as we flew out. Seriously, these people LOVE kids, all of them. Even teenage boys or young men who should really be showing no interest in a baby whatsoever, stopped what they were doing, picked him up, asked for a selfie and went all coodgey-coodgey-coo. It almost got ridiculous, I found myself telling these guys to get a grip, that they should be hanging around on street corners, smoking cigarettes and looking moody. It all fell on deaf ears, it’s just the way they are. The Vietnamese are a very friendly people and they revere children, it’s as simple as that. All this outgoing friendliness did have one major downside though, Harvey got wise to it all pretty quickly and began to seek it out. He became a bit of a whore for the attention, sometimes at the expense of more important things, like eating or drinking. Or just listening to his parents. Throughout our travels, we met some really lovely Vietnamese people and families. Having Harvey with us seemed to open up a whole different world of experiences which we just didn’t have before kids. Where one door closes, another one opens and all that.

When traveling with a little one, it sometimes can be amazing the amount of stuff you end up carrying around. Before we went I started to think about what we might need, when we might need it and how it would all pack together in the easiest and most compact way. All things considered I think I did OK.

We did have a lot of stuff, but I think we used nearly everything at least once. Some things served 2 purposes, for example the straps I used to attach Harvey’s Koo-Di Bubble Travel Cot to my back pack doubled up as fridge locking straps, very handy when your child’s favourite game is to empty the fridge and put everything under the bed, then do it all again in reverse, then again and again and….well you get the picture. The Koo-Di Bubble Travel Cot was great, Harvey loved it. It’s light and easy to put up and take down and essentially comes with it’s own mosquito net. It saved us from getting any cots from our hotels, which saved money and helped eliminate the risks of things like bed bugs.

The most used and vital thing we took with us was out Macpac Possom Backpack, sadly discontinued now I’m afraid. This was a godsend and we used it every day. Mostly we couldn’t trust Harvey to walk on the roads or footpaths and anyway it was far too hot for him to be able to walk far. The stroller we took was pretty useless everywhere except a few streets in HCMC, Dong Hoi and Mui Ne and at the airports where it was vital and worth taking for this alone, so we relied on the backpack to get around. He loves being up there taking it all in, and it seemed to entertain the locals as much as it did him. We also took a set of toddler reins which we would sometime put on Harvey when we got to a museum or somewhere and let him run around, leading us all over the place like a dog on the scent. Again this seemed to much amuse the locals. An added benefit of the backpack was that it helped to cut down on the physical effects of the beer that I was drinking, walking around with 15kg on your back in 38 degree heat will help you sweat off anything I can tell you…..

We only took enough nappies for a few days with us and once they ran out we used the local ones which were fine and easy to find in most stores. We also took a few items of food that Harvey liked, such as his breakfast cereal.  With hindsight we perhaps should have taken a few more things as we ended out going to L’s Place western grocery store in Hanoi and buying some Marmite and peanut butter for him at a stupidly inflated cost. Sometimes a little man needs a few home comforts such as Marmite on toast! We also managed to buy some more of his oatbran cereal there too. We ended up carrying all this around with us for the whole trip and actually ended up bringing the Marmite back to NZ! For the few times it was used, it was well worth the extra weight. When your child is refusing to eat rice noodles for the fifth day in a row, you will do anything to get some food inside him.

Most likely if you are planning a trip like this, you will have been to South East Asia before and have a fair understanding of how it ticks, the general do’s and dont’s. When you introduce a 2 foot rocket into the equation, it raises a whole further raft of potential issues. We spent some time before leaving thinking some of them through so that when faced with a situation we would have a rough idea of what to do. Simple things like; how will you carry your nappy bag and toys when traveling? Where will his blanket go? How will we keep his hands clean? How can we minimise the risk of him getting sick? How will we manage all our luggage in a train station? How will we clean any high chairs he uses? Some of it is fairly simple, obvious stuff but it does pay to give it a bit of head-space beforehand and if necessary come up with a solution. To be fair, we maybe over thought it all and when you hit the ground things change and evolve quickly and on a daily basis, but it’s good to have thought about everything and maybe even have an answer for it.

Ultimately, traveling in Vietnam with a toddler was a hugely rewarding experience. It came with it’s fair share of challenges but these were far outweighed by the sheer delight we all got from being there. Overall Vietnam is a pretty clean and safe place, the people are amazingly friendly and they seriously love kids. They generally go out of their way to help you out if you look like you need it, and having a toddler in tow will open up an entirely new world for you. If you are considering a trip like this, my one lasting piece of advice to you is this: it may seem daunting right now, and it will for a while, but do it. Just do it; you will never regret it. I know I don’t.